Bring On The Glitter.
November 25, 2009
The Power of Make Up. This is why I don't leave my house without eyeliner. lol
http://www.specktra.net/forum/f279/simply-tut-cat-eye-bronzing-blush-61340/
Speaking of make-up, the holiday season is coming up and that means it's time for all that glitter and glam. I'm really looking forward to some quality time with friends and lover, dressing up and going out. But before I get super excited about that, exams must be over with first. Failure is upon me for finance. There's only one more week of class before major cramming time and so far I've been slacking more than ever. Also, I'm kinda kicking myself in the face for missing my doctor's appointment last friday and since I didn't cancel it they're going to charge me a no-show fee. Another thing that's not been going so right is my phone bill. I've somehow maxed out my minutes and went over by $80. So now my bill is three times its normal size. It's not "billing by the second" after you go over. Stupid cash cows.
As far as everything else other than school goes, it's going slow. I've been spending time with Loc lately and things are back on track. It felt nice and fuzzy sleeping in his arms yesterday and I always hope he feels the same too. I haven't felt so great in such a long time. Although reality is going fine my dreams are haunted with images of us falling apart. I hope it stops. It's not fun journeying into our subconscious and finding out our true fears and crazy issues. I always have some psychological disorder kinda like my mom. I have a fear of becoming more and more like her the longer I stay in this house. This drives me to want to move out real soon, even though that's not really possible in my situation. It gets so bad that I actually have homicidal thoughts and I have no idea how to handle it. I used to be able to at least breathe easy and take it slow but now I have so much rage that I just want to take a hammer to something. Only thing that soothes me so far is some good music blasting through my speakers.
Okay, I don't want to get too worked out over being mad again, so I'll just write about my bad luck with technologies. I lost my digicam and phone (as stated earlier), my computer won't start in ages, transferred stuff on external hard drive, transferred stuff to laptop, fixed computer so it works now, dropped external hard drive so now it doesn't work, basically, only one or two drive works at a time. I'm juggling my files between hard drives. Bad luck. Or I'm just clumsy. I'm usually not the really superstitious type, but there is a saying that a mirror should not be facing you when you sleep. Maybe that's why I've been sick ever since I've placed a mirror in front of my bed -__-". I've finally realized that and removed it two days ago. I'm still sick, but let's see for how much longer.
Anyways, I always seem to have some sort of to-do list here on my blog and never really cross much of it off. So here I am doing it again since I'm planning on sticking to it this time, and now that my love life is on track it leaves room to fix everything else.
To Do by the end of winter break:
_ get pap test
_ get eyes checked
_ fillings
_ remove wisdom teeth
_ root canal
_ weigh 105 lbs
_ G1
I really gotta start eating properly again, goal: 2000 calories a day.
Gotta find some meal-replacement drinks. Those would be easy to take along with an actual meal so my intake would double but without additional effort.
Stuff to get/ WISHLIST!!:
_ 3/4 dress form size 2 w/ removable arms
_ new external hard drive 100gb+
_ digicam
_ black high-waisted skirt
_ straight-leg/skinny jeans
_ sephora/mac black eyeshadow
Creative:
_ LOVX site (at least get it up and running)
_ revamp blog
_ learn dreamweaver/flash/after effects
Right now I'm really wanting the dress form so I can start making shit. I've been craving for that for so long that I just want to steal one from the fashion department. I'm thinking of maybe making my mom some crazy dress thing for xmas, but I don't love her enough for that. But still, I need gift ideas. I usually end up making something, because although it's still a gift and it's still material, it's not materialistic, because having it personally made shows that the person took enough time out of their life to put effort into making something (blood, sweat & tears, hopefully no blood stains, you have no idea how many times I poked myself with the needle trying to make the giant boobs) because the other person just means that much to them. It's a symbol of gratitude and love. And, it's kinda thoughtless and rude to give nothing at all on special occasions. I think that if I had all the materials I need I'd be making shit all day just like before. Oh the crazy thing you can do with paper.
And what do I want for christmas? Time, love, hugs, kisses, and something extra special from the boyfriend.
Oh, and a funny explanation of the double standard that I found on the Ryerson Overheard group on fb:
Girl: how come when a guy sleeps around its okay, but if a girl has sex with more than one guy a year shes a slut?
Guy: Its like a lock and a key. A key that can unlock many doors is the master key, but a lock that can be opened by any key is a bad lock.
Also found out that the nicer assistant manager at sirens got canned and banned - because of some loss prevention issue. Damn.
11:52 PM | comment
This One's For You..
November 19, 2009
For all the bitches that looked down on me.
10:42 PM | comment
14 Mistakes.
November 17, 2009
So I've found this on a friend's blog, and thought I'd share it. Moreover, remind myself of reality.
Article is here.
Here's the excerpt from the article.
1. Thinking we'll never get over him. We will. Two months and several powdered donuts later... we'll feel better.
2. Spying. Hacking into email or phones looking for suspicious messages and then yelling at him for the "k thnx bye" text he sent to his female coworker two months ago.
3. Thinking our partners must be interested in everything we do, think, and say. When it comes down to it, we zone out when men talk about circuit boards. Right? Having a best friend or gab partner outside a relationship is a good thing.
4. Displacing. Freud was right with this one. If we're mad at him because he ate our tasty restaurant leftovers out of the fridge, tell him we're mad at him because he ate our tasty restaurant leftovers out of the fridge. Don't turn it into a commitment issue.
5. Expecting too much. Putting so much energy into the idea of a fairy-tale romance that we're disappointed with anything less.
6. Stagnating. Waiting for someone to find us, instead of going out and finding someone ourselves.
7. Slacking. Thinking that a perfect relationship should be easy. Relationships require work and compromise; a perfect relationship means doing those things well.
8. Isolating. Dropping our friends when we're falling in love. Friends help define who we are, and we need them when things get tough.
9. Fantasizing. Thinking that getting a boyfriend or husband will solve all our problems. No one can fix our lives for us!
10. Using the silent treatment. Our partners can't read our minds; he won't know what's wrong unless we sack up and tell him.
11. Denying. Denying that there's a problem in a relationship, instead of facing it and asking ourselves what needs to be done. Problems don't usually go away on their own. Letting them fester only makes it worse.
12. Standing alone. Thinking that depending on someone else is a weakness. Leaning on someone else sometimes is the sign of a healthy relationship.
13. Over-analyzing. There's analysis and then there's over-analysis. Wondering why the fiance didn't call once during his bachelor weekend in Vegas? A legitimate case for analysis. Wondering why he only called twice and not three times during a guys' night out? Not so much.
14. Trying to reinvent the relationship wheel. If some items on this list feel cliche, it's because they are! If we would only listen to a good dose of love advice now and again, we'd probably save ourselves some heartache.
02:25 PM | 3 commented
Total FAIL.
November 1, 2009
FUCK.MY.LIFE.
So i went to frequency on friday with Viola for some halloween event and I ended up losing my phone and camera. I was holding it in my hand (stupid, i know) and there was some fight and some drunkass knocked it out of my hand. It dropped and i couldn't find it again, with all the strobe lights and retards crowding around tryna dance. I don't give a shit about the phone or camera as much, it's just my personal info and pictures and shit that I care about. I was so fuckin cheezed. I spent almost 2 hours trying to search the floor and freaking out looking for it, and I had like a dozen people ask if I was okay since I was practically crawling on the floor like I was drunk out of my mind. Jing was helping me look for it for a while too and he was nice enough to let me use his spare phone. Who carries two phones on them anyways? Luckily he did. What a shit night. I was actually happy when the club kicked people out cuz of a bigger fight and people getting arrested and other people losing their phones and gucci bag. I am one sadistic mutherfacker. Still fuckin pissed though, since I had so many pictures on the camera. Night was total shit, got a ride home from Stephanie.
On halloween I had work, and after work Loc came to pick me up. I was looking forward to seeing him all day. Chilled at his place, had a beer and chocolate and half of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. Ended up sleeping over and then going straight to work the next day. Now in search of a new camera. Sony or Canon?
11:22 PM | 1 commented
Dig.
October 20, 2009
Like yesterday, today has been a fairly unproductive day. My midterms are in two days and yet I'm still procrastinating so much. I really want to study with someone. Well, maybe not study, but be around someone who's studying and can take breaks with, sorta like a motivational coach. Who am I kidding. I just want to study with someone I love so I can sneak in kisses in between here and there so reading won't be as boring. I never get what I want. For this whole day all I've read was chapter 1 of my microeconomics book. I still have a long way to go and writing in this blog is just an excuse to not be studying.
I was going through my old emails and stumbled upon some emotional stuff from my past. It has reminded me of how weak I was, and to never be that weak again. In a way I'm still the same but I don't want to be so vulnerable anymore. I regret a lot of things. What I don't regret is the journey.
07:45 PM | comment
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